In late eighties, Reno , a Manager of a Government Oil Company, and four other Officers though quite senior to Reno but not promoted as ‘Managers’; used to stay in Flats in an LPG Plant in Central India. Reno was official ‘expert’ in ‘LPG’ though he was very new to it having just been transferred and promoted from a POL (Petroleum Oil Lubricants) Depot from North India.
While the four bachelors stayed without their families; Reno , the most eligible bachelor preferred to stay with a local beauty better known as ‘Butterfly’. Butterfly was actually Mami’s daughter. Like her mother, Butterfly too had a penchant for local hooch known as Santra. And, you know, Mami was attached to the Chief Plant Manager Satak Pal Sen who was an ardent admirer of Mami and Santra both. So, Reno had the official and moral duty to follow his boss in letter and ‘spirit’.
Reno’s favorite hobby, when he was not in the company of Butterfly, was to train the ‘useless, rigid and stagnated’ Officers like Bapurao and his three friends on LPG and other subjects he had mastered through his journey towards this exalted Managerial stardom yet to be achieved by his seniors, now his ‘boys’.
During one of those alcoholic binges, when his house-hold items were done topsy-turvy in absence of his Butterfly, by a few inebriated elements; one ‘useless, rigid and stagnated’ Officer serendipitously discovered and exclaimed that Reno had a magnificent ass whose cheeks weighed 20 kg each. The ass used to bend smoothly by 45 degree angle immediately after seeing Reno’s boss. Reno came to be known as Reno 20W45. (20W40, 15W50 etc. are suffixes used in the nomenclature of Lubricants by the Oil Companies.)
One fine morning LPG leaked profusely and blissfully from Knock-Out Drums of the LPG Plant unto a sparking boiler resulting into a sparkling fire covering even a dome (a Storage Vessel in the shape of Sphere containing LPG).
And when the dome was burning Reno was fondling…
Butterfly heard the loud noise resulting due to huge fire, saw the flames from Reno’s Flat, extricated herself as neatly as she could and started running out of Plant barefoot. Reno gathered his wits and her sandals. Then followed her. The leak was arrested by the ‘useless and rigid’ boys and the fire got extinguished on its own.
Miraculously, the domes were saved...
The Chief Plant Manager Satak Pal Sen reached Plant after one hour. Mami and the daughter disappeared into Bandhu’s dhaba outside the LPG Plant but Reno appeared majestically from somewhere and began to follow him. The inspection went on for 22 minutes and 35 seconds as noted by factotum Tandi, Reno’s attendant and Butterfly’s true lover. There was eerie silence as everybody was struck by the enormity of the situation. Reno’s mind worked overtime before he broke the silence and donated his precious expert views, “Sir, I feel LPG leaked from somewhere.” Wisdom dawned upon everyone and Reno the raconteur explained how bravely he fought the fire.
The useless, rigid and stagnated Officers muttered in unison, “Aasoul!!!”. Reno heard it but magnanimously condoned them for being jealous of his success.
Chief Plant Manager Satak Pal Sen submitted a report to HQO emphasizing that only a small fire broke out in dry grass as a careless Oil Tanker driver passing through adjacent POL Depot approach road threw a live cigarette in Plant Premises. HQO cautioned the Depot Manager and Depot Officers to be careful in future to avoid recurrence of such incidents and commended Reno 20 W 45 for his timely action and exemplary courage. In the following DPC (Departmental Promotion Committee) meeting Reno 20 W 45 was promoted, out of turn, as Senior Plant Manager.
(Today Reno is an all knowing ,tobacco chewing ,mighty Executive Director of the same Oil Company… Click here for the Second Part Internal Oil Mafia . )